I've been burned by knowledge in a couple of different ways, the first in a negative way, much as a man may be “burned” by a woman.. this is a relational thing of going through a form of rejection or unprecedented disappointment. The second is a burning as a fire, warmth, light, flaring up.. passion is often associated with the second burning.
The first burning which I've experienced is that of disappointment with knowledge and understanding. I've been told while growing older that knowledge will change who I am and by what I know, I'll be changed into a different person. Why else is knowledge appealing? Power over others? I suppose so, but having power over others has never been an attraction in my life. I've seen a lot of seemingly intelligent (knowledgeable) people who are terribly depressed, and have no betterment than someone who knows less. I can testify that most of what I've learned has not changed me. I've been let down and find myself in the place of, “why bother with all the effort if it leads to emptiness?” Solomon may have spoken of this in his “meaningless meaningless...” statements. I particularly appreciate his “ There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul good in his labor. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.”
The second burning that I know now is that of clarity. I've been mulling over the lack of stimulus that I've had lately, considering as well the hard truth that I cannot keep myself to a book of any depth. In vain I've picked up books and opened the covers only to quickly become disinterested. The scar of being burned by knowledge before was likely showing itself as oft as I placed those books back on my shelf. Today I decided I needed the stimulus even if merely for the sake of a discipline and maintaining of the capacity for higher thinking. So I read the first section of “The Abolition of Man” by C.S. Lewis. It is an essay about how appropriate emotion is undermined in our current education system (and now our culture). There is more to it than that, but that is my initial impression. Coupled with that I read an article about the word “faith”(and “belief/believe”) and how it involves objective ascent, this not without knowing exactly what is being acceded to. In relation to Christianity a key example is that when someone says they believe in the resurrection, they actually mean: resurrection from the dead; the resurrection of Christ (the Son of God) by the power of the Father, etc.. . Both articles are immensely practical and will effect my understanding of the world, the way I respond to the secular classroom (and their deficiencies (nay, attacks!) in these areas). So I now burn for knowledge though it is still a discipline I need to refine. I need to make sure that what I learn has meaning, otherwise I will become again jaded.
As a side note, I had a strange dream between the completing of the above readings which has influenced my perception as well and that has to be accounted for.
2 comments:
It is knowledge that puffs up, according to Proverbs, but wisdom that gives life. And the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. There are many fools who are both intellegent and well educated. As far as I can see, education is more about jumping through hoops and attaining knowledge which may or may not be of use in the work-a-day world, depending on your course and your carreer.
My son, if you recieve my words, and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures: then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice, equity and every good path. Proverbs 2:1-9
Something you may want to consider, you may already do it, is to read some (well written and deep) poetry. I generally haven't been much of a fan, but recently we read T S Eliot and he is generally quite engaging.
I too have felt the emptiness of just 'head' knowledge, which, really, I don't think is truly knowledge. True knowledge means you know such and such, and knowing such and such means acting as if such and such were true. True action, in turn, seems to me to take passion, which head knowledge lacks, because it doesn't get you 'inside' the propositions it states.
However, good poetry does this and can give you an experiential grounding that will give meaning to the more dry stuff.
So, check out Eliot. Read his early stuff more for the pure impression first off. Otherwise, it's too esoteric. His later stuff is more comprehensible while still being impressionable, and you won't feel so lost with it.
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