moody

In the silence, don't we all ache?

Today has been a mulling day for me. My cousin's grandma passed away last week and her funeral/memorial service was today. I'm glad I got off work for a time to attend it. It's set me on a somber train of thought though, one which I can't express very well in words. I'll try and use examples:

While at work, during a few spare moments, I looked up on google images "missing you". It's a rather cliche phrase, but is probably one of the most terrible feelings I know. My cousin's grandpa has survived his wife and is knowing only too well the feeling of 'missing you'. The feeling of loss is heart-rending. Feels like dying while being kept alive. So my next search on google images was "lonely". There were a lot better images conveying the feeling of loneliness but they still did not embody the feeling I was trying to see. Lonely is also the wrong word as "absence" would be more appropriate. The final images I looked for were to the key words "heart broken". Those images were not much help at all. Most were cheesy, many were cartoons, almost all were cliche.

So part of my train of thought was of people I miss. I've been blessed by God with a lot of people whom I love. Some of whom I keep in contact with, yet others who I don't. Love for me means I want to live near them, be part of their lives, have them be 'aunts' and 'uncles' to my kids. I miss these people.

Do you miss me in the same way? Maybe you feel this way about me and I don't know it. Write me an e-mail and we'll get back in contact.

I don't always dwell on these kind of thoughts, but they are a real part of life and worth thinking about once in a while. It's flashbacks and random memories of times that set me thinking. Next post: photo challenge!