you see, I came across a friend of mine looking at dirty images on the net. this is a pretty serious thing, I know, but the response we both had was all wrong and out of whack. the friend made some vague cover excuse and we both let it drop and have since tried to act like there was no awkward moment at all.
maybe this might not seem like much to you reading this, because [edit] bad images [/edit] is pretty well accepted in secular society as a norm. but as a follower of Jesus, i believe there are absolutes. wrong and right, pure and unwholesome. chasing corrupt things, and hiding them in the darkness of our hearts hinders our relationship with The light of the world, makes barriers between us and God, and as a result, between us and people who we're to love. so my friend and i both being followers of Jesus are accountable to certain standards, for the love of our savior.
the dilemma which arises is nagging in my mind because two days after, i had a dream that held two rebukes, the dream went as follows:
i stood on the wood floor of my parents room. there were other people there and we were taking turns going forward and reciting scripture verses. i was loath to go forward because i knew that i did not know the verses. when my turn came i went up and said the only passage that i could think of, one which i learned fully years ago, but now only remember the start, "therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you with his neighbor. for we are members of one another." [from rom. 5]
at that point i came slowly to wakefulness with the joy-filled-weighty knowledge of being spoken to by the Father. the two rebukes enclosed in that dream were 1) i don't know the Word as i ought. and 2) to lay aside falsehood and talk with my brother in truth (the friend who was found stumbling). i am not better than him, as i have struggled in the same and differnt ways, and my own silence was as terrible as his own. that is a truth that i see now more clearly and i understand how important these things be brought to light! so far i'm at the point of praying about how to go about all of this, praying for him... and part of the response to that has been to write it up for here for the uplifting of others.
maybe you can be encouraged to bring things to the light. to freedom and joy. or to welcome with loving arms those who are darkened, praying for and with them, seeking them in their troubled souls.
9 comments:
Very good and thought provoking post. I remember your mentioning the need to talk to this friend, and I agree, you should. If no one speaks to him who knows, it is easy for him to believe 1.) it didn't really happen, 2.) It must not really matter after all, or 3.) no one cares about his struggles, he must be too far gone. It is always hard to give reproof, even when it is gentle because we hate to risk the relationship... what if he gets mad... avoids me... But I think if we do it out of love and compassion, having ernestly prayed, we are the best friend they ever had, whether they know it or not. God will use you. We will pray too.
Luke, thank you for the post. There is something healing about being brought into the light. If you talk to your friend and he sees that he is loved despite his failure, it will show him how God feels about him. I'm sure he feels pretty low about it and probably hasn't had a chance to be healed and move past this sin yet. I think that bringing truth into our lives helps break cycles of sin.
I would encourage you to do more than address the right/wrongness, pure/impure aspects and discuss the effects it has on the way he views himself and those around him. An addiction to those things is a vicious cycle that really puts a man in a place of hopelesness. It feeds itself. If he is defensive, there is not much you can do, but most men really do not like the bondage they feel, and desire to find a way out. A friend that he can be open with is probably the best thing you can offer.
It seems my first thought is about you, and the sin of omission. It is made clear in Scripture that those who "wink" at or turn a blind eye to sin in a believer are guilty themselves. I can tell that you are feeling that conviction, and want to affirm that. I know that you are kind and relationally humble, and will be wise and loving to your friend. In the end, you will have loved your friend and God by approaching him about his "secret" sin.
these are really good comments!! I appreciate your encouragement.
One of my greatest encouragers in the whole 'openness' and humility thing is a german guy, Holger Meier. He's a firm believer in "in my weakness, God strength is made evident" and so he doesn't deny the fact that he's tempted or sins, but rather shares how God provides ways out, and shares about the joy of being honest about where one is at. Great guy, though I didn't always see him in this light (i had judged him before by his clumsiness and prone-ness to his emotions). Fie on me for making foolish judgements like that, once again I've been 'shown up' by our gracious God.
I'll give your situation some prayer. I'd add onto tech samaritan's comment and say, if possible, it'd also be good to find out why he does it, etc. Otherwise, if you just preach at him, you may preach right past him.
But, I'm not super great on the whole confrontation thing, so take my advice with a healthy grain of salt.
no worries, i'm not very preachy.. its concern. i think i'm one of the least 'condemning' people i know. but i'll think about it more, perhaps i'm blinded by my own nature or something. I know people who are, and i wouldn't put it past myself to being condemning without intending to be. hm. thanks for your prayers, i hope to soon make an opportunity to have a heart to heart with the guy. i could be the wrong person for it, but i could at least point a direction and have him seek someone else about it rather than keep dark.
i modified the post slightly as having the word p* made me get a lot more passers by, who were searching for such. i like to keep a stat counter of who and where people are from that come and visit my blog and such hunters are skewing my stats badly. NOT recommended to see where they came from before teleporting to my blog. ahem.
Not to belittle you or your friend, but did the images appear in any sort of wall type context? Just checking.
~Caryn
Post a Comment