Well, the little Honda that I drive passed a remarkable number yesterday. The mileage record crossed 177777.7 miles. Time for a tune-up.
Also, Luke K. made a good point that I should write about more than just strange, creative thoughts. He's right, but sometimes there's just a barrier between what's happening in my head and life and what I post up on my blog. Ok, there usually is a barrier. So let me reflect on something a bit deeper:
First to gather my thoughts. *pause* hmm.. that was about a half-hour long pause.
Well, most of my attempts at significant thoughts go back to this post. It's the whole cycle thing.
Here's something I learned about myself recently. I'm pretty single-minded. I mean.. I can't multi-task in my head very well. This has been something of a revelation while I was driving the other day. My eyes can be on the road, but if I'm thinking about something else, it doesn't matter a whole lot what my eyes are seeing, because I'm not there. The truth is more severe when I'm actually doing something else while I'm driving, such as fumbling to find a Cd, or drumming on the steering wheel... I zone out. My mind is only one place at a time. Even focusing on the music can make what I'm seeing about 20% attended to.
In a much broader way, this is also true in my life. My focus is pretty singular. While I'm at work I may not be able to focus or get much accomplished at all if I'm not "there". If my mind is on people, or school, or troubles, I probably won't be a very good worker. While I'm going to school, if the classes aren't enough to demand my full attention, it won't have much of my attention. It'll be on the edge and only get done when critical (attention demanding). I've gone through phases where my entire internal attention is focused on certain people. This makes me distracted, not a good worker, and actually.. not very healthy spiritually. True, I love the people, but it's no good for them if I'm all distracted by the fact because, really, they need friends who are spiritually with it, peers, supportive and prayerful, encouraging. I'm not such a person when I'm so distracted.
Which brings me to my final point. I'm my best when the focus gets right. When it's on God, I feel whole. I can balance the rest (until I get distracted again). I realized a week or so ago that my single greatest delight is when I know God's favor. When I know His presence, the grace, the drawing me back to Him. That's the best. So this cycle keeps going and the sweetest part is when He lifts my countenance. Praise God.
4 comments:
I know this post is pretty self-centered in some ways. It's hard not to be. I mean, I give glory to God, right? Well... it's still 'about me' because I'm giving Him glory for what He's done for ME. What I'm getting back out of it. This is quite counter-John Piper.
But here's some balance... when I have my center right, I can bless people rightly. I want to be in that place where I am capable of that. I desire for other people to reap of the goodness God shows me. So.. it's not as 'self-centered' as it might seem.
What's wrong with strange, creative thoughts?
thanks for coming to my defense prop. yeah, some people are just more pragmatic about life and don't see purpose in thinks that don't seem directly connected. I'm a weird combination of being both pragmatic and not. I'm a guilty-conscienced creative type. I shame my pragmatic side. (c:
I hope I'm using the word "pragmatic" in the correct context.
I think part of the criticism I got was because I hadn't gotten around to adding links to people on my blog (and writing e-mails I promised to write). So the rational says, "He's writing these silly things, wasting valuable time that he SHOULD use to update his links and write people!" It's understandable, and I agree. Now that I'm done with school, I have one less excuse, and maybe that'll be just few enough for me to actually DO something. (c:
I can relate to single-mindedness. Multi-tasking is a necessary evil and it puts a damper on real productivity. As a teacher the multi-tasking is what tires me out.
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